12.11.04 - 7:18 p.m.

I just had sex with a 21 year old.

i'm 29. the whole time i was thinking, how to guys do this? how do they date these young girls? he kept telling me how i looked 25, etc. what i can't figure out is, what is 29 supposed to look like? i'm not afraid of being 29. i like all i've done over the years, had fun and done a lit of different thing. the shocked looks i get when they hear that i'm 29 annoy me though... like somehow i'm supposed to wrinkled and aged.... withered somehow..

i was also thinking, wow. its like he's masturbating, but instead of using his hand, he's using me. you know what i mean by that... the sex is coming like he's using your vagina instead of his hand, 'cause thats about the most subtlety he's putting into it. funny thing is; i am not shy in bed, and i'm not afraid of speaking my mind... but when something like this shows up, for some reason i can't bring myself to tell the guy that he needs a few pointers... it like i'm afraid of hurting his feelings.

i mean, it kinda like all those guys who have sex as if they just left from watching a porn movie, and want to try out a few moves... you are having sex and you can't quite figure out if you are missing the appropriate moaning moments, it seems so choreographed.

note to any and all guys out there: this is not acceptable boy behaviour. if you want to masturbate, go home. if you want to have sex with a girl, realize that she needs to be getting something out of it too..

ok... i'm gonna go masturbate now, 'cause i finally had to fake it to get him out of here... and damn it... there will be at least one orgasm today.

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