11.06.04 - 1:23 p.m.

ahhh.. life.

i am just such a whiny little bitch on occasion, and as an adult, no one really stops me.

anyways, things have been cool... i had my doctoral exam, which explains my absence.... basically, its you after three months of studying, sitting down with a panel of four profs while they fire away questions at you which you may or may not have studied... three hours of this. after this you are officially either smart enough or not smart enough to do a PhD... fortunately for me, i was found smart enough, if you asked me, by the bare skin of my teeth. but i'm told that this feeling of complete unworthiness and "i'm not smart enough, why are they bothering?" and other such feeling of not being competent are completely normal, and the associated arrogance that you see in people with PhDs doesn't come till later for most.... they are still breakin us down to rebuild us in the image of a university professor... something in that "i'm always right" no matter what the subject. i do have my strong opinions, i'll give yah that...just ask those i get in yelling matches with over current events/issues... maybe i'm just mid-development that i don't feel it in every aspect of my life yet...

speaking of being in mid-development, i had a rockin' holloween party... i was super pyched that everyone dressed up for it.... here a photo of me? can you guess what i was?????

I was a japenese sushi waitress vampire. not mutally exclusive concepts, i think... the dress was a value village buy and was lliterally sewn on me, which explains the lumpiness...

in other news, i'm at work today and its snowing,,,, the first day of snow here... yesterday was more like rainign slush than snow... take a look from my office window:

nope, thats not a lot of people at work on a saturday... that is hordes of individuals spending their saturday outside, drinking and yelling on the university football team... dedicated souls, those....

see ya..

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fucked up before - fucked up after