02.06.05 - 11:27 p.m.
I am CRANKY.. i mean, hormone driven, menstruating, cranky. full on, have to change the tampon every half hour, my mood is all over the place, don't give me an edge 'cause i am looking for a reason to get bitchy on your ass... all kind of CRANKY.
moments like this make me wish that i had a boyfriend. actually, moments like this make me want to have an hour or two with my exboyfriends.. not that i have any particular, bubbling up to the surface need to irritate them... but their is something that occurs to me in these estrogen dripping minutes.
when i was dating them, they complained about my PMS.. oh the horrors of it, how cranky i got, how randomly tearful, how blissfully ignorant i was of the chaos that waked in my path.... if they only knew that held back, tried to be reasonable, tried to not get too psychotic on their ass... riight now, with my hormones in full swing, if they were back here now, i would trap them in a room and show them exactly how messy my emotions could get this time of month, exactly the extent of what they missed out on..... they would pray to have the half-controlled version of events back.
the quickest mood change in the world? you think i'm laughing at your corny joke? nope, i'm crying.... wait..... nope, i'm getting really pissed at you for your insensitivity... now i'm all wanting to cuddle and make it up to you. 30 seconds or less baby, or your pizza is free.
i just got off the phone with this guy i like. now, he's known me for about 7 or 8 years now, but i doubt he's ever seen my PMS in full swing. we are, well, dating kinda, but you know,... in the undefinable region of romantic space. to far away to actually just sleep together and see that side of things works, and on the phone a little too much to be just friends. oh yeah, and too much phone sex to be just friends. at any rate.... me& my PMS... i'm sure he's never seen me in full swing, and tonight he got a preview of it:
him:"well, its getting late here, so i'm going to go to bed"
me:"thats fine, i feel like getting off the phone anyways" (all emphasis on the "fine"...you know that ain't good)
him:"you know, we have to figure out something so our phone bills won't get too high"
me:"well, you know, we don't HAVE to talk so much on the phone anyways" (where do i get these leaps in logic? where?)
him: (sounding confused and sleepy) "well, umm, yeah, ok.... they've been fun, but you know, i just can't stay up late if i have to give lectures the next day, thats all i meant"
me:"whatever. i have to go"
him:"umm, ok, i'll talk to you tomorrow?"
me: --- "bye" ---hang up
now, if you think that was bitchy and unwarranted raise your hands..... good. now, if the guys in the audience could just do me the tiniest favor.... if you could just send me an email and tell me if a similar exchange occurred between yourself and a girl you had just started dating, would you;
a) think that anything was out of the ordinary
b) if you thought something was perhaps up, would you ignore it (kinda like the burying the head in the sand trick.. ignore it and maybe it'll go away).... c) if you suspected it was PMS would you risk harm to yourself by asking if that was the case? d) would you chalk the whole exchange up to some mystical girl problem area, and move on as if nothing had happened the next time you talk to this girl, or would you assume she was crazy and moody and never call her again. please, neurotic menstrual woman everywhere need to know.... just leave your answer in that comments section.....
�
�
fucked up before - fucked up after
